Tesco Team up with Carter Ruck to Create Vacuum of Evil

Immoral Supermarket and Defenders of the Rich Group together to Form Tidal Wave of Denials and Damage Claims

Carter Ruck, the company responsible for defending toxic waste dumping tycoons Trafigura from some rather unsavoury claims have now been employed by Tesco. Tesco clearly feel they need some defending, perhaps from Thai MP Jit Siratranont who claimed that Tesco had been a touch aggressive in their pursuit of greater profit at the expense of local shops. For this misdemeanour MP Siratranont is facing two years in jail and £16.4million in damages.
Tesco also follow the trend set by other multinational corporations of doing their best to avoid tax. They decided to set up a complex tax evasion system that would allow their HQ to be located in the Cayman Isles, the island resort, tropical island resort with easy access to the rest of the world. Oh yeah and the 0% taxes may have played a part in their decision to move there, saving themselves £1billion tax on profits.
In 2007 a group of Tesco employees were investigated for claiming that the company had a poor Human Resources and rude customers. The accusation attracted 2,000 Facebook users. Tesco were quick to shut it down and stop any further damage to their reputation, which is a bit like brining a pair of tweezers to an earthquake clean up. But should Tesco really be able to censor their employee’s freedom of speech? With Carter Ruck on board they will be able to do it with much greater ease.
The law firm will have a tough job keeping up with Tesco’s ever increasing legal battles. In 2006 they were investigated for using child labour in Bangladeshi factors that supplied Tesco, the supermarket swept this under the carpet. They were then attacked for distributing anti Jewish literature in Ireland. Their price cuts are under investigation after they were found to be quickly increasing prices and then cutting them to the same level as before and calling this a price cut. They also built a supermarket in Stockport that was 20% bigger than their planning permission allowed. They’ve been found to have back dated some products to stop them appearing out of date. That’s a bulging carpet that Tesco have employed Carter Ruck to sort out. The supermarket hopes that they will be able dig a great hole and pile all these unpleasantaries in it along with anybody who dares speak out against them. Judging by Carter Ruck’s previous experiences they clearly have the expertise to implement a thorough cover up.
Carter Ruck aren’t exactly free from controversy. They were responsible for the prevention of a book which took a critical view of Scientology. Carter Ruck cited defamation laws and prevented the book being published in Britain. When a religion has enough money to employ a top rate law firm one has to wonder whether they are in it for the right reasons. Also at what point did it become acceptable to quash someone’s freedom of speech because it didn’t fit your philosophy. This practice is common in dictatorships; perhaps that’s where Carter Ruck are taking notes from.
The most immoral supermarket and the most immoral law firm have joined together to squeeze all the good out of the world for their own ends. How long before Oxfam are sued for undercutting Tesco or Richard Dawkins for defamation of God?